Most Satisfying Athletes? The Unathletic Ones

The ancient Greeks celebrated terrific feats of athleticism in many of the same ways we do. They put athletes on pedestals and showered them with gifts, much like boosters do for talented college football players looking to score some sweet ink (Right Jim Tressel?). I, however, do no celebrate the phenomenal athlete. They're ok; they help my favorite teams win, and I appreciate that. But I celebrate the guys who become great, good, or just average at a sport despite their seeming lack of athleticism.

I recently read an article on the Royals' acquisition of Matt Treanor, whose most remarkable achievement to date is his marriage to stellar female athlete Misty May-Teanor. He's a 35-year-old, journeyman catcher, if, like me, you'd never heard of him. Like so many average non-athletic athletes, he's bounced around a lot, hitting .223 lifetime, doing all the little things right, and being a good locker room guy.

Maybe that's why I like average non-athletic athletes so much; they're generally good people or at least, they seem to be. Unlike their highly paid, steroid enhanced, pedestal topping, high-profile teammates, the Treanors, Henry Blancos, Mark Brunells, and Doug Fluties of the world can't afford to be douche bags. If they are, their teams can easily go find a mediocre player whose willing to not fist fight his teammates (Carlos Silva I'm looking at you).

Sometimes, whole teams of non-athletic athletes show us that athleticism is inherently overrated in sports. For more information take a look at the upcoming Final Four game between Butler and Virginia Commonwealth University. No one would accuse their players of Jordan-like athleticism or skill, but they play smart, they work together, and they put ego aside. What does that equal? Apparently winning ... and what does winning equal? ... getting laid frequently I'm guessing.

Does this guy look like he could do anything on the diamond? But he did. He's probably about to punch someone in this picture.

My most joyous moments come when a non-athletic athlete becomes a star in his/her sport (sorry ladies I've ignored examples in your sports because I know nothing about them). My favorite athlete of all time is a slow, thoroughly unathletic former first baseman for the Chicago Cubs named Mark Grace. For a while, he was one of the best first basemen in baseball, and he did it with knowhow, hand-eye coordination, determination, and a big wad of chew in his mouth. Steve Largent, maybe the second greatest receiver of all time behind Jerry Rice, is perhaps the best example of a guy with very few physical gifts who rose above in his sport, and he looks like he got stuffed in many-a-locker as a child.

Loving non-athletic athletes isn't just a "me" thing; it's an everyone thing. We all root for the Butlers and Steve Largents of the world, and it's fairly obvious why. We see ourselves in them. As non-athletic non-athletes, we connect with those athletes with whom we see commonalities. Oh, he can't jump more than three inches off the ground, neither can I. Maybe I could play in the NBA too. This mindset feeds into our dreams of sports greatness that initially die when we realize getting winded walking up stairs isn't a great precursor to Olympic gold. But by watching the common-man athletes like Grace, Treanor, and Largent, we can hold onto that dream if only in "what-if" scenarios. If Mark Grace did it, maybe I could have ... if I'd only put down the chalupa and picked up the baseball mitt once in a while.